Came across this on Facebook. A friend asking a question and a response from another friend. So true and what an excellent way to handle bullying.
Q: “What do you do when other kids are mean to your kid and she comes home in tears? It just breaks my heart. :(”
A: “I taught my girls that they should feel sorry for them. When kids are mean to other kids, it is almost always because they have someone who is mean to them. The hurt is usually caused by someone close to them that they love and should love them. I would tell my girls that they should disarm the other child by asking the “mean child” if they have had a bad day…or if someone has been mean to them. Usually it stops the “mean child” in their tracks. They don’t know how to respond. They want to feel the power of being the one who gives it out instead of the one who gets it sometimes. The “mean child” is wanting a reaction from your child. They want them to cry or run off or feel as bad as THEY do when someone hurts them. You teach your child that anything that is said to them is not about them. It is about the other child and the pain they are in. It won’t take away the all the pain that your child will feel when it happens, but it gives them a bit of understanding why kids bully. It teaches them to have empathy for others. Then lots of hugs, kisses, and love! “
p.s. I found the same to be true in my student teaching experience. Almost every time a student would act up in class it was because of an outside reason. School stress, relationship problems, family troubles, etc. If I took a minute to call them aside and talk for a minute it would usually come out. If I expressed sympathy and let them know I cared, the minor behavior problems flew out the window – sometimes without a need to even address them. And those students would be the ones to later stick up for me. Pure beauty.
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